CRACKPAIRINGZ
by Frollo's-Taco-Shop
Summary: ...I like random parings.    1st & 2nd  X    3rd  *
1. A valentine to remember MatsudaxRyuk

On a grey and dreary morning, Matsuda sat on a couch. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His heart ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Ryuk to love someone with a broken arm?

Sadly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a sun in the desert, all on a summer's day. I wish my Ryuk would lie with me, in his own loving way..."

"Do you?" Ryuk sat down beside Matsuda and put his hand on Matsuda's shoulder. "I think that could be arranged."

Matsuda gasped ukeishly. "But what about my broken arm?"

"I like it," Ryuk said huskily. "I think it's okay."

They came together and their kiss was like a rainbow that casts a happy glow in a rave.

"I love you," Matsuda said.

"I love you too," Ryuk replied.

They bought a pet moose, moved in together, and lived quite happily.


	2. Evilicious OroXSnape4 ValientVampire

After he tried to dance with his beloved professor for what seems like an eternity, Snape finally gave in.

"Alright, alright. Stop it, will you? I don`t want any more of that." Severus said.

"So you will go out with me then?" Orochimaru asked, happy to hear what the other one would say.

"For Slytherin`s sake! Yes, I will." said Snape, displeased. Who would have thought this snake-nin was so clingy?

Oro-sama danced for joy. "Yay!" a sexy grin graced Oro`s features. He finally gave in!

When the day finally came, their date had been scheduled to all day, the two flowers walked to their date together in peaceful chaos. They decided to go to The Bad Mutha Goose , a desrted bar nearby. The moon shone down on them and Orochimaru had to dance with his snakes (including Crazylegs) wrapping arond Snape.

"You know," Snape was the first to break the silence, "It`s really sexy out here."

Orochimaru was surprised by his date, "Does that mean you're liking it?"

"Yes," Snape whispered, "I guess so."

"Snape!" Orochimaru exclaimed to "I love you!"

In one swift move, he grabbed Snape`s head, pulling him flush against his face.

"Wha- What? Are you kissing me? Let go!" Snape`s face turned a bright red, almost enough to rival Kabuto's scalpel on a good day.

"I changed my plan." Orochimaru said as he licked the shell Snivleus' ear.

"What? But what about the dinner, pranking, and disco?" Snape almost nosebled at the thought of doing all that.

"Snape," Orochimaru said to Severus, "I`ve been waiting for this day to come for half a week now. You know that my snake is as hard as a black metal concert everytime I see you."

"You-! LET GO RIGHT NOW! You boggart!" Snape protested as he was being dragged away by the other young man to a more private place. 3


	3. The Lovely Game

The basement (floor 11) door shut behind the two boys as they moved into the room, the taller boy setting his younger companion firmly on a box. The younger boy squirmed, shifting the box and nearly upending a bowl filled with chocolate syrup that sat near his elbow. The older boy sat down so close that their legs entangled.  
"Wait!" Squee cried, grabbing Johnny by the wrist as a large glob of choco syrup was pushed resolutely towards his mouth. "I...I'm not sure about this."  
"Just relax," Nny prompted. "You'll be fine." He maneuvered his fingers skillfully, not in the least deterred by Squee's hesitant expression.  
"Are you sure this will be okay?" Squee was rather inexperienced and was quite uncertain as to how it would feel in his throat.  
"Trust me," Nny soothed. "You'll love it." Finally, he succeeded in sliding the (nailless) Nailbunny into Squee's open mouth.  
"Oh!" Squee exclaimed. "You lied! That was really weird!" He shoved Nny away as the older boy doubled over with laughter.  
"Bet that's the last time you'll let some guy put something strange in your mouth!" Then Nailbunny woke up and screamed "WHAT THE F****?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HATERS WILL HATE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Al: This is just awful! You filthy perve. Why don t you commit suicide like all the other fags and save the world from your putrid bile!

Me: AL, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING YET! YOU SILLY TROLL! I'M JUST GETTING STARTED! X3 


End file.
